So its weird ive all of a sudden been remembering my dreams again. I dont really remember them past a time though, i do however remember the one i had last night cause i was in my x-gf's house with my family, nd i was like...wtf this shouldn't be. I remember that my rents started yelling at me for the person she was and when i finally got them to stop by telling them off nd proving she was ok my gma showed up out of no where, lol(idk, its a dream) then i yelled at her, we stopped there to like use the phone or something. We were awkwardly near each other till the end when i finally hugged her in some kitchen while my fam was in a corner, the last thing i remember was the question she asked me throughout the whole dream and asked me again at the end which was,so are we in it for life? And my reply everytime was i always have been. She never answered back the whole dream to her own question, instead she looked away, at the end though she did just keep staring at me. So yea that was my dream, and i dont know what it came from besides when i was talking to a friend till 4am asking me if im sure this is what i want with no doubt, of course it is, that will never change, i was trying to change it for 6 months, i cant, I do hope fate will work out to go with my decision, some help would be nice. I think the no response was also the part where we were talking about doubt. Cause i don't doubt anymore, at all, my feelings for her, but i know there is doubt on the other side.Idk i just love it when i remember my dreams.

But anyway so i got new clothes yesterday with my awesome jacket only to get tree sap on it today, I love the coat then we went to actually cut down a tree, nd of course i was the one to say i was doing the cutting, see i took it off for that, but then helping to carry it i didnt and got tree sap all on the sleeve nd some on the side, i was soooo pissed. But whatever im getting it dry cleaned tomorrow. If my gma finds out im absolutely dead. Gr nd they are trying to do this xmas stuff on my desegnated work day. I have a government project, like 50 questions to complete for government, nd a crazy english essay that will be the death of me. YAZ for all nighters. Nd Im just getting over being sick, i still couldnt even talk right this morning, it was gross.

Oh btw i talked to my lit thurs. about, well pretty much everything. Well she was all into the story, she thinks my family are close minded idiots(she didnt say it outright but def got through) She told me i need to get a job and get out as soon as possible. We talked about future plans, like college, nd family, nd living things. She told me i should be ashamed of nothing, and i told her im not lol. And then the most obsevant that i didnt even know was readable was the 'was/am i really worth it' thought thats been going through my head since day 1. She put me in a great mood. I did keep to myself that we are not together anymore, true love that never gives up will get her to halp me more, nd thats what she will see from me. I also found out that i talked to the wrong lawyer, the one she wanted me to talk to wasnt there, so she let me talk to the other one. She wasnt happy with the little he gave me and she said that the other one will be there and we can talk. I was like thank god cause that was a bit of a let down. lol she was like this was going on your sophmore year and you didnt tell me anything(she was my teacher then too). I do wonder what would have happened if i did. But whatever the past is the past and im doing all i can to fix the now.